Love and Chaos
“Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.” Suzie Wagner
Love and chaos are so closely related that we generally overlook one for the other until it’s too late. Humans notoriously hang on to the romantic idea that love and loving must present a daily dose of frustration, disappointment, conflict, mistrust and emotional turmoil. Over time, love and chaos become a warped form of normalcy that damages the couple and teaches their children how to live in a bad relationship. Sadly, these children will grow-up to seek out the same kind of relationship, and the cycle will continue.
The Universe brings us together for a reason. When that purpose is fulfilled a significant change is noticed in the relationship dynamics. IF the couple is willing to work together to regain the same page and direction, there may be some hope for the relationship, but, normally one or both people realize that they’ve grown apart. We can love alot of people but it doesn’t mean that we can live with them. We also realize that we may still love the person, but, we don’t like them. This is where unconditional love replaces romantic love. It’s unrealistic to demand that your partner “change” for you or for “the kids.” The ONLY person you can change is yourself. If your partner chooses not to change, is he/she being selfish? No, your demands and/or expectations are out of line and unrealistic. It’s at this point that you must ask yourself, “Can I live better with him/her or without him/her?”
The kindest thing that we can do is let them go. No one wants to give up without a fight. But, it takes two to make or break a relationship; one can’t keep it together. The Universe is telling you that there are life lessons that each of you must learn apart from the other. When all is said and a decision is finally made, there will be an overwhelming feeling of peace, grace and calm that floods the body, mind and spirit. It’s at that point that healing begins. Whenever we’re in a relationship longer than six months, when it ends, as all relationships will at one point or another, it’s a deep personal loss; much like a death. The first year will be the hardest, and then homeostasis will gradually return.
Love and chaos do not have to be connected like conjoined twins. Relationships that present the most to be learned will include love and chaos as part of the growth process. We can separate for awhile and come back together to “give it another try,” but after the honeymoon phase, which lasts from two weeks to a month, the couple will be right back where they were. Many couples will do the yo-yo routine several times, with the same results. Acceptance is the final stage before we can let ourselves move on.